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(no subject) [Aug. 26th, 2009|12:17 pm]
Crisp Spider Meat
growing up is really funny.

hello livejournal, how are you?
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im just ranting [Apr. 26th, 2008|03:06 am]
Crisp Spider Meat

i'm like really pissed off right now.  just to warn everyone, this isn't really directed to anyone reading this.
just people in general. 

lets see.   i am tired of being harassed.  like i just feel like i keep getting attention i don't want.  like, and i cant just tell someone like
hey, you annoy the fuck out of me, please go away.  i just cant.  but sdfpgjdfklgjdf. 

second of all, i'm just going to be honest.  i like someone, like hardcore.  it's not even funny.  i'm worried i'm just being stupid.  but he really fucking likes me.  i'm just being insecure, i hope.  i'm terrified.  he's busy with school but sometimes i have very irrational thoughts.

i am happy i got a job but today i felt like i was just doing everything wrong and i was like really sad.  but diane told me i did really good.  so i dont know.  i just feel like shit.

and then i thought my cat was gone forever and i got freaked out and cried at work on lunch and the security guard was like "d00d u ok?"
and then everyone was mad at me and like everything at my house was a disaster tonight oh my fucking god.

and like, seriously.  is everything i do seriously wrong?  i feel like a terrible person but then i reflect on things and its like DAMN am i really like, so uncaring?  i feel like i get guilt tripped for the stupidest shit.  i'm so sick of it man.  like, seriously, what the fuck did i do.  like, i'm trying to fix myself.  i'm trying to get my head straight.  I REALLY am trying.  i dont understand how i piss people off so easily.  i really don't.   and i'm sick of feeling like shit about things that IN REALITY i dont think i should !!! FUCKKKing a.

and there are so many things i just want to tell this boy.  and its too soon.  its way too soon.  like, he's just so fun to be with.  i just really enjoy being with him.  and sitting on the phone with even when he's not even paying attention and just playing his guitar and being adorable.  i just want to cling on to him.  i really don't want to scare him away because i'm psychotic.

i'm outta time and all i got is 4 minutes wikiwiki 4 minutes eyyyy

and i feel like i have a stalker at work.  its really weird.  its just really weird.  yeah.  really weird.  he tells me really weird things.

so.  i've made a decision.  i'm selling my car.  i love it.  a lot.  but i'm not ready to drive and i want the money for school.  i work close enough to walk.  and i can take the bus.


right after i get it registerd.  fuuck lol.
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hahahaha [Mar. 16th, 2008|07:51 am]
Crisp Spider Meat
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(no subject) [Jan. 31st, 2008|05:15 pm]
Crisp Spider Meat
ATTN this is just an announcement that should be disreguarded for it is fueled with anger:

fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you and go change your fucking tampon bitch.   theres no reason to be a pissy ass whoreface to me today, yet you persist.  so just fuck off.   it's not my fault.  i didn't do anything wrong.  i didn't do ANYTHING wrong.  yet i feel like i'm being punished.  

anyways, i like my job, its cool.  working with scott is awesome.  i get to play video games at work.  i get to help stupid people.  its all good.  or something.  yeah.

i lost my stunnas and i am sad and when i get paid tommorow i guess im going to buy new ones

fucking sunglasses stealing fuckheads. 
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finally [Jan. 29th, 2008|06:59 pm]
Crisp Spider Meat
a good show comin. pennywise, chiodos, escape the fate, and and and and streetlight manifesto!!!!!
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weee [Jan. 27th, 2008|03:37 am]
Crisp Spider Meat
rain is so pretty. and i am happy. and thats because being sad sucks. and its awesome. and drawing is cool. because i drew a rainbow kitty. and i just want snuggles. thats all i have to say.
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caribou [Jan. 17th, 2008|12:09 am]
Crisp Spider Meat
[music |gogol bordeli ~!!!!]

being impulsive has given me both the worst and best times of my life. i try to find beauty in every situation. when our hearts are all crying out, and our spirits crushed to the ground, it's really the only way i know how to manage. fucked up things happen, and sometimes the world is a scary, scary place. (especially on psychedelic drugs)

i'm scared of a lot of things. i've had friends abandon me because of bad addiction problems before, and i'd really hate to have that in my life again. it's just way too painful. and i have a friend who has a bit of a problem (more than one had a bit of a problem for a while). i just hope that he can prove himself like he says he can.

i was so concerned with being safe last night. maybe trippin balls in a car wasn't such a great idea. but i had a great time. i wanted to go to sin city pc, because i felt safe there.. and i didn't really want to leave. being in the front seat was really intense and.. somehow, i managed to take off my shirt by accident. (my jacket was eating me, and it took my shirt with it)

i caught a brown recluse with my friend bekah. we were baked out of our minds one morning, and caught it in a fish bowl. we put it on the coffee table and then hotboxed its cage. eventually the spider got a little retarded. we don't like killing spiders, but we came to an agreement with eachother and talked it over with Howie (that is what we named him) and decided to kill him for the sake of our own safety and children in the neighborhood. so we poured bleach on him and watched him die and sang songs.

we ended up taking a random walk after that and i found a really cool heart shaped rock and some other random trinkets.

a lot of other crazy things happened in a short period of time, but i really don't know what to write anymore, but i really wanted to update.
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i had to post this one [Jan. 4th, 2008|12:27 pm]
Crisp Spider Meat
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weswofa [Jan. 3rd, 2008|10:49 am]
Crisp Spider Meat
[Current Location |lala land]
[music |mew - white lips kissed]

i had a really scary, really weird dream.   it was also really vivid.  somehow, i was pregnant and i wasn't sure who the father was and i also wasn't sure how i got pregnant.   the doctor just told me "hey in about 10 days you're going to give birth to a child."  yeah, 10 days!  after i had the child, i watched myself transform into a mother.  that was weird.  her name was going to be Mikayla up until the last minute and then somehow, i forgot really what exactly happened, but i was inspired to change her name to Serenity.   everyone was playing in the back yard for some reason, so i went back there, because i woke up and I couldn't find my baby, and then I met the evil dark wizard who lived next door.  then, he started sexually harassing me, so i was running away and I ran to my dad and begged my dad to find him and hurt him, but it really wasn't my dad, it was like, some demonic sort of demi-human who was also a wizard.  I ran into my house, and the next door wizard followed me but ran into spikes that came out of the ground and walls, and then my dad casted a spell on him to kill him and everything was fine and then it turned out later he wasn't dead and I dont remember it all but it was really weird >_>
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(no subject) [Jan. 3rd, 2008|12:24 am]
Crisp Spider Meat
i have tons to say, i just dunno how to say it all.

i have a very irritating, horrible sickness.


i only got 6 lolz
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(no subject) [Dec. 13th, 2007|05:14 am]
Crisp Spider Meat
i wrote a big long LJ entry about how much you piss me off, and how I never wanted to speak to you again.

needless  to say, i've changed my mind.  but please, for the sake of us speaking

please stop making stupid fucking assumptions about me.  you're usually wrong.  i'm tired of arguing about it, so i don't.  but please stop, so i don't have any reason to disagree.

yeah, you must be thinking "oh she took that the wrong way"

and for the record,
i DO have things to do today.

and it's insulting when you say things like you did to me.  EVEN IF you didn't mean it in a bad way.  i don't fucking CARE what you mean, START SAYING WHAT YOU FUCKING MEAN IF YOU'RE TIRED OF IT PISSING ME OFF.
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(no subject) [Dec. 11th, 2007|04:20 am]
Crisp Spider Meat
i finally have something to post about.


they are like one of my favorite foods.   i love making sandwiches (and I go all out and make awesome sandwiches btw) and I love eating at places that sell good sandwiches and i just love them.  and i'm one of those people, who get those random cravings one day, and it just sticks with you til you can eat what you want.  well, that happened a few days after a recent surgery i had for tummy ulcers.  needless to say, i am on a liquid diet for like 3 fucking weeks.  so, i can't have a sandwich.  it feels like all i ever wanted all my life is a sandwich.  and sure, i'm really blazed right now so that doesn't help at all but i'm honestly getting a little worn out on jello and tomato soup here!!!!!!!!  but, my wifey is going to take me to jimmy johns when my diet is up.  btw they have awesome sandwiches.  and omg.  i've never been more excited about eating a sandwich this much ever in my life ever.  and i really just wanted to blog about that.

onto some other shit

sometimes, although i'm not obsessed with astrology or anything coughcough .. i read my horoscope and truly think like "wow, okay.. that sounds like a good idea!" and the other day... i pretty much got the idea that i should see kelly that day.  and THAT was a great decision...but recently, some of the romaaantic parts of the horoscopes have been grabbing my attention as well.. but i'm just.. i dunno.  i'm having trouble figuring some things out. 

assassins creed is a beautiful game and i really love it and i felt like i left this universe and became an assassin.   jesus, it was beautiful.
plus i've never had so much fun killing people ever before in my life. 

also, i love my DS <33333333333333333333
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(no subject) [Nov. 16th, 2007|01:42 am]
Crisp Spider Meat
oh wow.

i'm ready for the future.

linktell me

(no subject) [Oct. 29th, 2007|12:10 pm]
Crisp Spider Meat
your words float delicately into my heart, and have such beauty to them they bring tears to my eyes.

your actions are much more cruel.

i can't help but feel this way.

but... i am trying to forget.
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"do you wanna follow and go with me?" [Oct. 25th, 2007|05:48 am]
Crisp Spider Meat
of course, i had no where else to go.

i still can't my head around how everything turned around in such a short period of time. 
it just keeps getting more confusing. 

and it only seems to be getting worse.
linktell me

(no subject) [Oct. 22nd, 2007|03:05 am]
Crisp Spider Meat
i can't seem to get rid of this rain cloud of insecurities.

even if 200 different people told me everything is going to be okay, i don't think i'd believe anyone.

it's the hardest thing to change.
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this is important. [Oct. 6th, 2007|02:02 am]
Crisp Spider Meat
plz donate to the "alia and kelly need money to go to vegoose or they will kill themselves" fund

i am going to kill myself if i can't go.

it's seriously like, the most important show in the world.



link14 secrets|tell me

(no subject) [Oct. 3rd, 2007|05:14 am]
Crisp Spider Meat
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(no subject) [Sep. 17th, 2007|05:12 pm]
Crisp Spider Meat
and just when you're done climbing up your spider web, to the very tip-top, to the most satisfying insect to devour...

you fall.

and you get stepped on.  

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(no subject) [Jul. 31st, 2007|06:53 pm]
Crisp Spider Meat
i hate doctors. 

i didn't hate doctors til i had like 2 of them to go to each weak.

link1 secret|tell me

(no subject) [Jul. 21st, 2007|09:39 am]
Crisp Spider Meat
HARRY POTTER!!!!!!!!!!!



ill post the few pics i have later

cause i'll be reading.

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(no subject) [Jul. 16th, 2007|01:37 am]
Crisp Spider Meat
Pet peeve:

When people try to claim who/what is good enough for someone/something.

As humans, I don't really think we have the ability to detect something like that.  Of course, we can have opinions.. but it still annoys me. 
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(no subject) [Jun. 30th, 2007|01:40 pm]
Crisp Spider Meat
i love my life.  even when i wake up, hungover in a parking lot.  tossing my cookies out the car door. 

that parking lot feels like home to me, i guess.  i know i'm not 'one of the guys' there.  i've been around for a while, but i was never too good at the whole fitting in thing.  but, i still really love all of my friends at SCPC. 

in fact, i love all my friends in general.  seriously.  i couldn't ask for friendships more amazing.

especially my kelly frelly and jenny.   i missed both of them a lot last night.  (i managed to drunk dial jen though)

so yeah, i got pretty drunk, but atleast i didn't throw up til i woke up.   someone stole 30 bucks from me, but it's not that big of a deal.  it's a bummer because i have no income, but you know, shit happens.

blasting disney music and drunken girl talk rambling while watching the sunrise = much fun. 

plus, that never ever game was pretty fun.  :3
linktell me

(no subject) [Jun. 25th, 2007|08:29 pm]
Crisp Spider Meat
[music |Sweet - Ballroom Blitz]

i don't know if i have ever been more tired in my life.
if i had alcohol, i would drink til my floor looked comfortable.

walking home this morning, as the sun rised, a guy asked to trade me a dollar for change (he also told me I was foxy, and that he liked my hair), so he could ride the bus. 
i just handed him my bus pass, and told him to have it, cause i don't need it "I'm going to go home, go to sleep, and never ever leave my house ever ever again."

i'm in a terrible mood, but i can't really say why.

not even if i tried.
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(no subject) [Jun. 24th, 2007|03:17 pm]
Crisp Spider Meat
First things first.  Pictochat = love.

Especially far from sober. 

watched kids, partied, played smash brothers (which i sucked at REALLY bad) and mario party (which I won, so very epicly)

I had a lot of fun this weekend, but it was also very tiring.   that's pretty much what the entire summer has been like.

but hey, i'm tryin' to relax here, just for a little while!

so.. *I take a deep breath, because I am exhausted*

wheres the party at TONIGHT? :]

thanks to the handful of you who IM'd me and informed me of the malicious (and immature) attempts to start drama, but really
i'm not interested.   no, i didn't prank call any skanks/ the long forgotten past this weekend (i don't keep irrelevant phone numbers), but i'm flattered the finger gets pointed to me so easily. 
soo, i guess it's not really me that needs to get over anything.   i win that bet.

any questions?  try IMing me about it, not my niggaz.    . 
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(no subject) [Jun. 21st, 2007|09:24 pm]
Crisp Spider Meat
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will post the answers to the questions (and the questions themselves) on your blog or journal.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions. And thus, the endless cycle of the meme goes on and on and on and on...

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for the first time in my life... [Jun. 19th, 2007|12:23 pm]
Crisp Spider Meat
my mom walked in on me watching porn.

it was pretty damn funny. especially cause I dont even live with my mom.

me and kelly were just sitting here in awe watching Whorecraft videos and cheering on the Undead Mage when she walks in

I couldn't alt-tab, and the sound was really loud. so.. I was just like "We're watching porn. n_n"

and she said


and proceeded to talk to us.
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(no subject) [Jun. 11th, 2007|05:48 am]
Crisp Spider Meat
Summer has been great so far.  It's been less than a week and I'm already tired.

Thanks, everyone.

I'm going to go sit on the roof now. 
ewwi have a dentist appointment soon
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(no subject) [Jun. 1st, 2007|09:41 pm]
Crisp Spider Meat
link9 secrets|tell me

My homework [May. 29th, 2007|06:30 pm]
Crisp Spider Meat
 She told us to write a fairy tale..     
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(no subject) [May. 28th, 2007|06:37 pm]
Crisp Spider Meat
I had a dream last night that I was somehow driving alone on a particular intersection.  It's the one I used to work near.  I was really scared because as I was at a red light I realized.. I barely know how to drive.  It seemed much more complicated in the dream, everything was harder and it was really stressful.   I eventually pulled into a driveway of a gas station on that intersection and called my dad.  I told him I was stranded.  He told me he would pick me up, and I was trying to explain how I got into the car and over there.   I woke up feeling like, gee, I never want to drive.  It's been scary ever since that accident I got into.

As I was telling my Nana the dream, the news was on and there was a fatal accident that involved 3 cars on that same intersection.  

My parents invited me over today.  They gave me a car. 

It was kind of weird. 

But I'm happy. =D
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rar [May. 24th, 2007|05:28 pm]
Crisp Spider Meat
i am getting a car.
any recommendations?

no sports cars, or newnew cars cause i'm getting a used car.
link14 secrets|tell me

(no subject) [May. 19th, 2007|02:25 pm]
Crisp Spider Meat
today has been th emost iunfprpodicitviadsfids



in my klofie


.......today has been one of the most unproductive days of myl ifeeeeeeeee

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(no subject) [May. 18th, 2007|05:37 am]
Crisp Spider Meat
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my jones soda caps need to start working. [May. 17th, 2007|01:54 am]
Crisp Spider Meat
it sucks knowing that i'm just not good enough.

i'm hopeless.
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(no subject) [May. 12th, 2007|04:03 am]
Crisp Spider Meat
link8 secrets|tell me

i think we're falling apart.. i don't know where i should start. [May. 11th, 2007|02:19 pm]
Crisp Spider Meat
[Current Location |fucked.]

i need a beggining again. 
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(no subject) [May. 5th, 2007|08:36 pm]
Crisp Spider Meat

hi guys

i am a rampaging panda

just wanted to tell you all that..................................



whtat else to say
abiout tis subject

linktell me

HEY HEY YOU YOU [Apr. 30th, 2007|07:49 am]
Crisp Spider Meat
link8 secrets|tell me

literally, but still a [Apr. 12th, 2007|06:09 pm]
Crisp Spider Meat
[Current Location |stuck]
[music |progress]

i've noticed lately i've been running into walls a lot.
even in the daylight when i can clearly see my surroundings.
link4 secrets|tell me

(no subject) [Mar. 23rd, 2007|03:32 am]
Crisp Spider Meat
link2 secrets|tell me

(no subject) [Mar. 14th, 2007|03:10 pm]
Crisp Spider Meat
[mood |crushedcrushed]

dear livejournal,

i've screwed myself.

love, alia.
link14 secrets|tell me

(no subject) [Feb. 25th, 2007|01:47 am]
Crisp Spider Meat

that's all i really gotta say.
link19 secrets|tell me

(no subject) [Jan. 31st, 2007|01:14 pm]
Crisp Spider Meat
stolen from crucifix

Open iTunes, Winamp or Windows Media Player to answer the following. Go to your library. Answer, no matter how embarrassing it is!!

Total songs: 7484

Sort by song,
First Song: "#7" Aphex Twin
Last Song: "Zora's Domain" by Koji Kondo

Sort by time,
Shortest Song: "Horse Race Goal" by Koji Kondo
Longest Song: "13 Angels Standing Guard 'round The Side Of Your Bed" by A Silver Mt. Zion

Sort by artist,
First Artist: ...And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead
Last Artist: The Zutons

Sort by album,
First Album: "...Is a real boy" by Say Anything
Last Album:  "Zopilote Machine" by Mountain Goats

Search the keyword and see how many songs appear,
"Sex": 8
"Death": 98
"Love": 376
"You": 738
"Me":  Theres too many for it to count apparently.
"Drugs": 14
"Hate": 15

Search for your own name, how many?: 6

Shuffle your library and list the first ten songs. No padding your playlist you hipster, you. Be honest!

1. All Time Low - The Girls A Straight-Up Hustler
2. Röyksopp - Boys
3. 65daysofstatic - Don't Kill Me (freaky fucking song.)
4. The Cure - Hot Hot Hot!!! (had to know the cure would come up atleast once)
5. Pixies - Levitate Me
6. Massive Attack - Karmacoma
7. X-Fusion - Cmon Devil (Slow Version)
8. Negative Format - Schema
9. From Autumn to Ashes - Take Her to the Music Store (U BRAKE MY HART INTO 1000 PIECES N U SAY ITS CAUSE I DESERVE BETTER????)
10. The Spill Canvas - Black Dresses
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(no subject) [Jan. 30th, 2007|11:49 pm]
Crisp Spider Meat
there is so much to be scared of. 
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:( [Jan. 14th, 2007|10:10 am]
Crisp Spider Meat
A moment of silence for Lewis Carrol, who died today in 1898.
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(no subject) [Jan. 13th, 2007|12:49 pm]
Crisp Spider Meat

This is the best fucking cartoon in the world.
link4 secrets|tell me

(no subject) [Dec. 26th, 2006|07:19 pm]
Crisp Spider Meat
i love my puppy.  he's so sweet.
linktell me

DOWN SYNDROME COOKIES [Dec. 19th, 2006|11:19 am]
Crisp Spider Meat
[mood |contentmew]
[music |Godspeed You! Black Emporer - Moya]

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Me and Kelly made cookies.

warning: they are really fucking awesome

AaAAHahHHCollapse )

so yeah
im great
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(no subject) [Nov. 15th, 2006|07:55 pm]
Crisp Spider Meat
Happy Birthday, Shigeru Miyamoto!!!!

If you don't know who he is, then you should be ASHAMED.
link6 secrets|tell me

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